Ceremony Programs - To Do or Not To Do

Are wedding programs necessary? I get this question all the time. My answer is always the same- it’s entirely up to you! Tell help you decide if you need them or not, let’s look at a few reasons why you might want to consider them.

You have a very long wedding.  If you are having a longer Catholic wedding or any type of religious wedding where guests from different faiths will be present, you might want to have a program letting them know what is happening. They may not understand some of the customs and it’s helpful to have a guide for them to follow along. This is especially important if you are having an interfaith or multi-cultural ceremony.

You have family members and friends you would like to acknowledge for their dedication, hard work and love.  Perhaps it’s the friend that introduced the two of you, or you have endearing friends and family that have been your rock in hard times. In addition, listing your bridal party on a program is a nice way to say, “Hey thank you for being an integral part of my wedding!” Whatever the case, the program card is a great way to let those important to you know that you care about them.

You have a special song or poem that has significant meaning. Printing the lyrics to your favorite song or the prose from a lovely poem can help set the tone of your ceremony. It’s cute and sweet and a nice souvenir as well.

If you are anticipating a very hot and humid wedding, in say, Atlanta in August, or planning on a major dance floor boogie fest, you can go with an old-fashioned hand fan. Your sweaty Aunt May can fan herself after she gets down with her bad self. Fans are great because you can print your bridal party members, a small thank you, or just a lovely quote on the back and they are actually very useful, not to mention, pretty cute for photo opportunities.

And you can ditch all of the above if you have a small budget and a simple wedding where everyone knows each other. My motto— it’s entirely up to you and your vision for your special day.

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Wedding program hand fans by Gilded Swan Paperie

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Unraveling the "Plus One"

Who is invited to your wedding and how do we let them know? I probably receive this question more than any other. With proper etiquette getting nudged lower and lower on the civility totem pole these days, some of our guests need hit over the head with an Emily Post book to understand basic etiquette. Therefore, we have to make it very clear who is invited and who is not. Unless you are one of the lucky few where money is no object, you will have to whittle down your list to meet your budget. The best way to start this colossal task is to make a list of your invited guests. From there, designate who is married, engaged and in a serious relationship. Serious is relative of course. My bachelor friend says he is "seriously committed to monogamy with as many lady friends as possible". But you get what I mean. Traditionally, ONLY the names written on the outside of the envelope are to attend the wedding. Period. Let's look at a few basic ways to address your envelope:

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Frost

Charlotte Frost and Guest

Charlotte Frost and Henry James

Miss Charlotte Frost

It is scarcely necessary to say that unless Miss Charlotte Frost was born in a barn, she should not bring a guest to the wedding in the last scenario. The other scenarios are clearly identified as to who is invited. It is always nice to pick up the phone and ask your guest for their date's name. Otherwise, "and guest" is perfectly acceptable. Another easy way to denote who is invited is on the reply card. Often times we put, "we have reserved _____ seats in your name". You will fill in the blank line with the number you are allowing. It's not always the prettiest way to invite guests, but it does work, especially if you have guests that might not pay any attention, whatsoever, as to what is written on the outside of the envelope.

In general, I do think it's good form to allow your bridesmaids to invite a "plus one" even if they are not married or in a serious relationship. It's a nice way of saying "thank you" for their commitment to you. Lastly, if you look at your list and realize there are only a few single guests invited, then go ahead and allow them a "plus one" so that they too, can have a good time and not look like chairpersons of the Lonely Hearts Club.

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Gilded Swan Save the Date and Fawn Lettering Calligraphy

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